Fifty before Fifty

As my 46th birthday approaches,  I realize that I am closer to the fifty mark than I am to forty.  Therefore, I’ve compiled a sort of ‘bucket’ list of things I should do or incorporate into my life as I get closer to the half century mark.   I’m not being morbid – I love getting older because the alternative is simply not an option. My list simply celebrates that as we get older, we genuinely care less about doing the right thing. 

Here is to getting older!

Fifty Things to do before Fifty

  1. Celebrate my 49thBirthday.
  2. Find the fifty pounds I planned to lose in the course of my life.
  3. Win the lotto, by encouraging my mother to play with her social security money.
  4. Let my hair decide if it’s staying or going, once and for all.
  5. Clean the drawers in my nightstand.
  6. Throw away those pants in my closet that never, ever fit.
  7. Give up all dreams of being discovered in Hollywood (pause), Florida and head to LA.
  8. Find a literary agent who understands my crazy and likes it.
  9. Accept that I will never meet Simon Cowell or Paula Abdul on the stage of the X-Factor…but rather at a party with all of my new Hollywood friends.
  10. Lose my frown line…ignore the other forty-nine.
  11. Give more money to charity by buying more Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies every year.
  12. Drink more water in between Martinis.
  13. Change my name again.
  14. Stop making lists.
  15. Set unrealistic goals so I can have an excuse for not achieving them.
  16. Publish my first novel.
  17. Write my first novel.
  18. Return all those phone calls.
  19. Eat more vegetables tempura.
  20. Eat more dark chocolate éclairs.
  21. Understand less and feel confused more.
  22. Turn my smart button off (it will help me fit in better).
  23. Befriend someone at Apple.
  24. Avoid conflicts with people bigger than me.
  25. Make more money than I am worth (I’ve never known that feeling).
  26. Finally understand Bob Dylan.
  27. Become a Guru at something else.
  28. Accept that I am working on being less selfish.
  29. Cut the larger piece of cake for someone else.
  30. Live as if it were my best friend’s last day on earth.
  31. Listen to last year’s voice mail on my cell phone.
  32. Read the spam on my email account.
  33. Watch less TV… during the wee hours of the morning.
  34. Be more frugal with my change but spend my paper currency.
  35. Take care of my health by avoiding the doctor.
  36. Be a more positive pessimist.
  37. Visit a Cuban bakery at least once a week.
  38. Accept that ‘seconds’ is one of the courses of my meal.
  39. Always visit friends in their home and snoop through their bathroom cabinets.
  40. Learn to deliver bad news with alcohol, cake or cheese doodles.
  41. Sing out loud during concerts and musical shows even when the music stops.
  42. Invest in the children whom I know will visit you in the nursing home.
  43. Tell the truth behind people’s back (Literally, I will stand behind them).
  44. Start a rumor about me at a party and watch it spread.
  45. Go to church five additional times in the year other than Christmas or Easter.
  46. Add someone I don’t like to my prayers.
  47. Rely less on my prayers and more on m actions.  Remember God helps those who help themselves.
  48. Work toward world peace and domination.
  49. Make a difference in the life of someone who has lots of money.
  50. Have more people subscribe to my blog at

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