Creature Features: American Style

Am I the only one freaked out a little bit by American Horror Story?

This show is just plain creepy. But it is good in a really, really bad way. Sort of like when that German man in the film Raiders of the Lost Ark said to Karen Allen’s character, ‘You Americans, you’re all the same, always overdressing for the wrong occasions’. See? Creepy, good and bad all at once. And that is what American Horror Story is: an overdressed, cerebral version of my childhood’s Creature Features.

It’s hard to believe this show is coming from the same guy who brings us Glee…well, on second thought, it is easy to believe that this show is coming from the same guy who brings us Glee. This show, like Glee, disturbs, haunts, makes you cringe and sometimes just makes your blood boil – although it’s never made me want to burst into song, except when I’m covering my ears and singing la-la-la-la-la endlessly because I’m expecting something to jump on the screen and make me scream like a girl from my reclining sofa view.

The basic premise about a Haunted House full of ghosts who never leave while a family is trying to go about their dysfunction is simply brilliant. Every week I say I am not watching again, but every Wednesday night I’m there ready for my torture and my moments of brain terror. What is a brain terror you might ask? Well, wake up in the middle of the night to have to use the facilities and walk to your bathroom in the dark and remember American Horror Story’s last episode – bam! – that is a brain terror. How do I get off this bed without something grabbing my leg or some being appearing in the bathroom mirror? That is a brain terror. It is a piece of fright filed away in the deep, dark recesses of your mind waiting to surface at the most inopportune time. Couple the brain terror with images of sadistic behavior, a leather clad demented teenager and Jessica Lange trying to play forty at sixty and you have the true makings of a scary tale.

American Horror Story does this to me and more. For some strange, sick, crazy, twisted reason I love it and if you are not careful you might too. I promise you.

Now look behind you slowly…did you see or feel it?

It was just there a minute ago. I promise you.

There you go, now you have a brain terror too. Make sure you file it under ‘J’ for Juan.


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