My Favorite Martin

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Last night I met my goddaughter’s boyfriend, Martin.

My goddaughter is fifteen years old, a dancer at heart and for all intents and purposes, a regular new millennium teenager – she is insufferable. Everything is sooooper this and sooooper that with superlatives and excitement biting after every word she utters.

Now, she has a boyfriend.

Martin is sooooper great. Martin is sooooper with her Mom and her stepdad. Martin is sooooper cute. Martin is sooooper sweet. If Martin were anymore sooooper we might have to stick a label on him and call him Campbell’s.

But I digress…

Martin is a good looking kid, who happens to be quiet, sweet and extremely respectful with adults my age. Immediately, I am suspicious. In today’s day and age, a child who is polite, respectful of his elders and quiet does not compute in my skeptical, evil mind.

I want to run a background check on Martin but I don’t have last names, social security info, etc. – so what am I to do? Perhaps I should engage him in conversation, but alas he stays six degrees of separation from me using the rest of my Goddaughter’s crew as a shield: Ashley, the other soooper girl; Krizia, beautiful-eyed, with the silent but deadly look about her; Adrian (I can’t focus on Adrian because I just want his copper-colored Fossil watch) and Ricky, Black Swan dancer tricky Ricky who looks like he could entice this entire crowd with sugarplum dreams like The Nutcracker at Christmas…alas, Martin stays hidden behind the veil of these friends.

Why, I still wonder?

Is that part of his charm? Does he stay mysterious just so he can remain interesting? I don’t know the answers to these questions but I will get my responses and I will get them soon.

For now, here is my message: Martin, I have ways. I have ways most people don’t understand and ways others just fear. But I have ways and I am watching. So, for now, please keep her happy because I and a trail of Elders are monitoring your every move.

And if my warning seems somewhat alienating to you, don’t let it scare you. As long as she’s happy, you will always be my favorite Martin.

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