About a year ago, at around this same time, I became aware of a problem that consumed my thoughts and prayers. The issue was about me and no matter how much I tried to shake it, I couldn’t get it out of my mind.
It took over my days. It affected my mood, health and family life. I was crabby with the ones I loved most of all and I basically wasn’t good company.
I was upset, scared and simply focused on the issue rather than looking for solutions. I think it was the closest I have ever come to self pity. I’m ashamed to admit how defenseless and weak I felt when faced with unexpected adversity. It was totally against type for me.
But here I am a year later. The author of 250+ blog posts, the issue far behind me and embarking on my life’s adventures. The issue that was so prevalent has been replaced by other issues, albeit less pressing. I’m still crabby to the ones I love, but mostly because I was genetically altered as a child to become ill mannered and rude, at will.
I still think back on those days and I try to focus on the lessons learned. It truly changed my life and forced me to garner some more direction. I became less of a dreamer, more of a pragmatist and in the process focused my scattered energies on writing these often, if not daily, posts. These words, thoughts, vignettes of life, observations and writings have corralled my tolerable insanity into positive bursts of energy, reminding me every day that if you do what you love, you may not be rich – but you will be fulfilled.
I find something to write about even when I don’t have something to write about. That, by far, is the most valuable lesson. Last year, I thought the best of my talent was far behind me and I forced myself to write everyday. Not only did I find something lost within me, but I focused my energy on what I could control. In the interim, the issue resolved itself, life went on and for the second time in my life, a writer was born.