Sweet Fear

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Fear
Is good
My sweet
She said
For whom I wondered
As she stated
In a very matter of fact sort of way
I’m the one who is afraid
I wondered to myself
I decided this was not a battle
For me to take on right now
I had have a bigger fight to fight
Since I was nine I was waiting for the day
Because I had to fulfill history
Hearing all my life, you look just like him
Prompted me to believe his destiny was to be mine
So I attempted to fulfill a prophecy
Perhaps not meant for me
However strong genetics would push
I could fight and win or I could give in
Give in I did and I have, as I admit and confess
My sin against myself
Is excess of life through that which I consume and enjoy
A good plate and a good drink
Moderation never being my strong suit
But if it were how boring life would be
Coloring inside the lines
Never stepping on a crack
Always walking in the rain with an umbrella
Lowering my gaze from the eclipse
Not for me
As conservative as I could be
Too easy and too predictable
Was never my chosen degree
So I now have fear
Fear extinguished the smoke around me
Maybe this fear, which comes five years too late,
Might lead me to win this race as well
But I need to stop running in place
Pick up the pace
I need to move where the numbers make sense
Needing to get there sooner than later
So I can live in a place without
Fear
Because Fear
Unlike her belief
Is not a good thing
And least of all
It is not
Sweet.

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