Day 278: Virtual NY State of Mind

Grilled Cheese

Some folks want to get away and I was one of them.  I was in a ‘my birthday is over’ state of mind.

It was the day after and I was experiencing the pangs of sadness associated with not being the center of attention anymore. I cannot lie –  I like that universe where I am the focus and all love is directed toward me.  It was Thursday, I was running around at work with a million different projects up in the air and I was looking forward to lunch with my nephew Christopher.

At the last-minute he couldn’t make it.

So I sat down at my local hangout, dining solo, drowning my post-birthday blues in a bowl of creamy tomato soup where I was dipping triangle wedges of my grilled cheese sandwich and combining the two flavors to make me feel less alone.  I think I was eating my feelings and they were going into my mouth quite well.

The weather outside was horrible, but the comfort I was feeling from my dunking of crusty bread into the piping hot deliciousness was putting a big smile on my face, reflecting the holiday I was taking away from my neighborhood of discontent.

Just then, the crew from the Diner came over with a candle-less muffin and sang Happy Birthday to me, a day late, but nonetheless I reaped the limitless benefits of being a regular in a family owned place. Forty-eight plus one day was beginning to feel jovial again.

Another bite of my wet, cheesy concoction and I was suddenly transported to NYC via mental Greyhound on the Hudson River line.

Later, on a winter night, with Yvonne by my side as we are leaving the theater and heading to Junior’s for a slice of cheesecake, my state of mind has changed.  It is funny how spurts of happiness can give and take by delivering me to my favorite adult playground.

I’m no longer lunching alone, I am holding court with my memories and the grin on my face is evident.  It is a mischievous smile, one that recognizes the glee I feel when walking through the city, visiting the environs that have become quite so second nature to me.  It is a lifeblood that truly shouldn’t exist within me, but somehow we’ve made this connection and its hold on me is irreversible.

We’ve now left Junior’s and we are taking the back streets, on a route to our hotel, avoiding the New York post theater crowds, walking slowly, letting the windy chill in, enjoying this temporary respite from our perpetual hot weather in Florida.  It’s a good night and it might even snow…

‘Do you like the soup?’

The cook and owner, Ally (a new friend), comes over and interrupts my travels, teleporting me in a flash out of New York as her words bring me back to Sunrise and the corner booth at which I am sitting.

‘I love the soup.  This is really, really great,’ I say with an emphasis on the word really because my disposition has taken a turn for the better.   We chit-chat for a while and she goes back to the kitchen and I attempt to go back to New York.

As I bite into my birthday muffin, I’m back in The City thinking of the slice of cheesecake we are going to snack on in our hotel room.  It is official,  I’m instantly in a good mood again.  I’ve beat the post-birthday blues.

So I’m back to reality and it is truly all fine with me.  I’m good.  I just needed a moment to regroup. When I start thinking about why I was feeling down, I come to this one conclusion:

I don’t have any reasons, but I know I’ve left them all behind.

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