Day 298: You Do It Again

Dear God,

It’s me.

What have You done?

You take me on these journeys where I have to question your existence when You challenge the people around me with obstacles seemingly insurmountable.

(These are people I love, deeply.)

How could You do this?

Why can’t You focus on the people who spread havoc through the world gaining notoriety from the heinous crimes they commit?

Why do You have to make examples of the everyday man, the creature of routine who goes to work, builds a family and enjoys the simple, mundane ways of his daily life?

I don’t understand your selection process and I am tempted to withdraw my support from You at times because of this odd way You go about providing your lessons.

I am a person of faith, as You well know, by the many dialogues we’ve engaged in through the years.

I am also a thinking person who questions the diatribes and mores set forth by organized religion, choosing to practice my beliefs and engage in my prayer through the common words of conversation.

I am angry with You right now, but even in this situation where our family is facing illness you’ve given me proof that You are ever-present.

I’ve seen your work in the crowds of people lining a hospital room, ready to provide any support needed to get a friend through this trying time.

I’ve seen a family gather and huddle together, cementing a circle of protection around one of their loved ones, each bringing a different strength to the team.

I’ve seen your peace in the stillness and calmness of the ailing one, seeing you guide his every move, his every word and his unyielding courage.

I’ve seen You strengthen a mother and father who look on their child’s forthcoming struggle and I’ve seen your hand dry their tears and focus their resolve.

I know You have been with us in that hospital room and in those moments when we seek sleep as we doze off in the midst of emotional exhaustion and prayer.

I know You are around and I know You will see him through all of this.

But I still question what You have done and I’m a little lot mad at You right now.

I will forgive You because You have forgiven me time and time again for all of my transgressions.

You have known me with all of the flaws You gave me and You understand that I cannot help but write this today.

I also apologize for my lack of trepidation as I cross this line of respect and confront You, but this is the person You created and I don’t know how to be anybody but me.

But I know who You are and I know what You can do.  I’ve seen the benevolence of your grace.

So I ask, again, my rant of disappointment notwithstanding…

Do it again.

Do it for us.

Do it for them.

Do it for him.


2 thoughts on “Day 298: You Do It Again

  1. Keep your faith, it is ok to be angry with God, He can take the rath. I have been Angry many times as well, but have continued to pray. He gives us solace in both transparent and non-transparent ways. Prayer, also eases the mental anguish, particularly in the dark of night, when you sleep does not come smoothly, or does not come at all. I keep you and your family in my prayers, each and every day and prayer has been my salvation. I am here if you want to chat.

    I want to share a story with you. When my nephew, (brother Mike) was 3 or 4 he was diagnosed with a nueroblastoma which is a cancerous mass attached to his lung and spine. It was surgically removed, however there was a small piece left on the spine, as it was in an area that was dangerous to get to. He was scheduled for chemo for one year. Both my sister-in-laws and my family prayed and contacted others for their support in prayer.

    This young man was cancer free in less than 10 months and has been ever since. He is now 17 and a wonderful young man. Hopefully you will get some uplift from this sharing and don’t be bashful about asking others for prayers Matthew, 18:20 is one of my favorite quotes and Michael and I are living proof of it. “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.

    Love you and your wife!!!!

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