Day 328: Send In The Clowns


We laughed last night.

There it was, exposed for all to see and hear: happy, funny, contagious laughter coming from a crowd of people who were also fearful and sad for the illness their loved one is facing.

But for a moment we ‘took a moment‘ and simply enjoyed each other’s company.

And, for a brief wrinkle in time, we even forgot that somewhere in the back of our minds was the tail-end of worry and concern.

Of course, alcohol always helps (God bless the distilled spirit).

Vodka has a way of cleansing our melancholy palette by stripping away the greys, and leaving only those primary colors that can conjure up the designs of a smile.

It was good to talk about other things and to find humor in the day-to-day routine that seems to have been altered since (sigh!) the Circus of Cancer made its way back into the town of our lives.

In trying to write about the happy, this maligned culprit has somehow found its way into my paragraphs and I can’t seem to strain it out of my creative juice.

It has spread viciously and quickly, taking my common, ordinary vignettes of time and stripping them of the wit and humor I tend to present in my work.

It has deprived my words of their dignity, because it has controlled my thoughts and the tone of my prose. I never meant to give it power, it just took it and I succumbed to its attack.

Hence, the consumption of the spirits in voluminous quantities to drown out Cancer’s premature victory song.

Hence, the gathering in a room of colorful, vibrant people where time carved out an instant for us to bury reality and sink our teeth into fun.

Hence, this post where I can talk about the usurper of joy while placing a tangible distance between us both.

It’s almost like the in this Circus of Cancer, three rings of battle are going on simultaneously:

The battle for health, the collective battle we all share against worry and the final battle where the other two battles control my words.

Rest assured and regardless of outcome, we will win all three – for the Circus of Cancer is nothing but a temporary, overrated showstopper.

And then the real Circus of Life will continue and the rings of battle will be cleared and the laughter will resume.

It will be a sweet, contagious, non-spirit-derived, unequivocal, deep-from-the-belly laughter that will permeate the Big Top of life, almost as if someone had cleared the decks and sent in the clowns.


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