Day 363: The Fifty-Second Sunday

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It is the last one for 2013 and I am up entirely much too early for anyone’s taste.

The snoring sounds coming from Yvonne’s side of the bed have brought me to a premature opening of the eyes and a welcoming of the last Sunday of the year.

It’s dark out and cold inside our bedroom. These are perfect, close your eyes, bundle up under the covers sleeping conditions. Instead, I write.

Trying to hold my iPad with just enough distance to be able to see the screen (ah! The joys of age), I’m reflecting on the church going days of 2013 and what this potentially, superstitious numbered year has brought into our lives.

2013 has been about lessons, as each year I get older I seem to become more attune to my human condition and this one shot deal we are given to make this life count. This almost 365 day stretch has been about realizing what is truly important, what matters and what does not.

We give so much credence, focus and attention to things which merit nothing, often times employing precious time on that which is irrelevant. This year, I know I have made great strides in this area, not having mastered or conquered all of my neuroses, but coming awfully close to recognizing when I’m wasting time on that which is meaningless.

I’ve also learned that relinquishing control and admitting a certain powerlessness is a weird form of bravery, because letting go for me has never been easy. Dispensing of the unavoidable worries has made me a more relaxed person, still concerned about the issues, but less focused on trying to ‘fix’ what may simply be a permanent case of breakage.

Still, the heart wants what the heart wants, and shedding almost fifty years of learned behaviors will not occur overnight; however, these past fifty-one Sundays have been chock full of the homilies of life, lessons preached to us by the pastoral voices emanating from the pulpit of experience and I have listened – resolutely and intently.

I’ve mastered few of the lessons, my flawed self continuing the pursuit, but I’ve heard the messages, seen the signs and acknowledged the universe’s presence as continuing education teacher in my life, anxiously waiting for the first semester of 2014 to begin.

But today is the last Sunday for me to garner some more experience from 2013. The room is still dark, it is still cold and despite the snoring sounds coming from the being beside me, there is a particular quiet that begs to be heard. It is a stillness that speaks to me, telling me there is more to be done, we are not yet finished for there is still time. The fifty-second Sunday is upon us and while it may be the last of the year, class is still in session.

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