My friend sent me a book he made of quotes from my blog celebrating three years of my writing.
I was touched by his thoughtful gift and it made my day.
He gets me.
It is great to be loved, respected, cherished and nurtured and enjoyed, but it is important to be gotten. It is important for the people around you to know what it is that moves and motivates your world.
It is important for someone else to know the most minute of your needs because these are what make you tick – these are the tidbits of happy that contribute to your joy.
Unfortunately, not everyone will dig that deep in their realm of relationships. The disconnect is usually more prevalent between families because these are the relationships we are born into – they are not the chosen connections we make as we pave our life roads. We can be strangers and still be related to each other.
Long term friendships go through tides of discord and disparity, helping cement the lessons learned about each other, getting us closer to that gotten stage than in other relationships.
Romantic relationships that thrive consistently are those gotten by both sides, where a reciprocal exchange of events delineates the wants and needs of either side and binds them together like a closed zipper. I’m lucky to be in one of those.
As relates to me in other relationships, I think I get more people than those who get me, but that’s not to say that I don’t have incredible connections with outstanding human beings. I think it means that I have moments of raw complexity (translation: I can be a rigid pain in the ass) and the whole getting me thing can be too complicated. I also, don’t do superficial well, so the bulk of my exchanges are genuinely good or genuinely bad with very little room for the in between. In my realm of being self-aware, I don’t do the don’t gets well.
It happens. We will not all be gotten and we will not all be host to those we get.
Sometimes, however, we will make a connection with someone and it will prove to be good chemistry on most ends. These mutual gets, these brilliantly good connections are the relationships we take to our grave.
Despite the whole burying and dying part, these relationships where the gotten is infinitely good are as good as it gets.