Day 337: Wet Hot American Summer

Has the world gone Frozen obsessed?

I know that Disney had a hit with the aforementioned film, but a day can’t go by where it is not mentioned as part of a news spot, on a morning show or even in our advertising.

With Christmas around the corner, it appears that every retailer has toys, sleepwear, blankets, figurines, foods, camping gear, winter wear and a host of other merchandise peddling the Frozen brand.

Elsa and Anna have become household names and everyone, be it little boy or girl, can belt out the signature tune from the film in various degrees of pitch imperfection – ‘…let it go, let it go woah….’

Enough is enough.

I propose we freeze out this obsession and focus on other things beckoning a warmer climate.

Perhaps Disney can work on one of their formulaic animated films and come up with a sequel where our Nordic royalty girls can enjoy the comforts of a warm summer in Florida.

Perhaps we can call the movie, Melted, and have its main villain be an American who believes in removing sunscreen from tanning products. We can call the villain Sunno and make him resemble a tanning bed staple a la George Hamilton.

We can transport the girls to South Beach where they can befriend a Cuban hottie named Luisito and a talking palm tree called Matty who add comic relief, of course.

The theme song could be sung by Enrique Iglesias and we could hear kiddies belt out ‘Quiero Sol, quiero so wol….’ Naturally, a remix version with Pitbull chiming in a few ‘dales’ in the mix would have to be made and produced by Emilio Estefan – after all, ‘it is Miami meng’.

This movie could stop the Frozen craze and make Disney another merry mint to make their July 4th holiday cash register ‘kaching kaching’ every two seconds.

I think this could work. At the very least it would allow us to see the girls in a different light, the icicles of winter being replaced with the wet, hot days of summer.

As for the Frozen craze? Well, we’d just let it go and embrace the Miami sun.

‘Quiero sol, quiero sowol…’ Dale. Dale.

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