The television audience was certainly not a winner last night.
Everybody is complaining how boring the Oscar telecast was on Sunday evening.
The awards were boring.
They always are.
We can’t blame Neil Patrick Harris. The Oscars have been boring with Whoopi, Billy, Dave, James, Anne, Seth and a host of others. We haven’t had a Bob Hope or Johnny Carson to engage us with wicked wit in a while and therein lies the perpetual dilemma – the Oscars will be boring unless you are one of the people taking home the statue.
Then, in terms of boring, the event seems not so much if your name is etched into the gold.
But none of us at home who are watching are taking home a prize and the telecast becomes endless.
I have a solution.
Let me host.
I watch movies. I enjoy a good performance. I understand the concept of self-centeredness and self-promotion as much as the next guy.
I’m not afraid to keep it real – Boyhood? – just didn’t get it. I tried (hard). It didn’t work for me.
I’m harsher than most critics and I know what works on my silver screen. Give me a chance to tell the rest of the world (there goes that self-centered behavior again).
Let’s keep the show light and positive and vibrant. Show me good clips of memorable films, insert snappy musical numbers (I can certainly carry a tune) and let me bring my friends along to act as co-presenters with their matinee idols.
Let’s make the show about the audience and about me and about films and we will have fun again. Sure, we have to give out prizes, but that should be secondary. I know at least one-hundred people who will watch and a host of others who will watch just to possibly see me fail.
But I will not fail. I will not flop on one of the biggest platforms enjoyed the world over. I yearn for the moment I can say…
‘And the Oscar goes to…’
Because at the Oscars there are no winners, but if i get to host that might just change for the television audience.
And for my friends.
And, for me – naturally.