The word sorry has no value unless it is meant with heartfelt, genuine emotion.
That is what my wife thinks.
She values apologies and expects them when I visit the land of transgression.
I don’t necessarily feel that apologies do anything of substance, especially when I am delivering them to someone with whom I share every important moment in life.
By virtue of volume alone, instances of anger are bound to surface, ugly words will be exchanged and tense situations will occur. We will draw from the well of pain and we will invoke our mutual dormant beasts.
Nothing good will come from this exchange and sorry is not going to wipe the slate clean. Sorry is like a wet nap that prepares the table for the next meal. It clears the debris and leaves the field open for a future encounter. Inevitably, a crumb or two stays behind – always.
Hence, the reason why sorry is purposeless and so full of itself.
I don’t have a problem apologizing, I simply think it is a cop out, similar to confession in the Catholic religion. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea culpa, three Hail Marys and God and I are good. Not so fast…what about Judgement Day? What about The Almighty knowing that despite my obvious flaws, I am still a good hearted person? If God can forgive me without apology, why can’t my wife?
That is my point. Sorry is a given in any relationship where there is respect and love. We will have many an argument to come and I guarantee that we will recover from these, whether sorry is present or not.
Because where there is love, sorry is grandfathered in – perpetually.
Next time someone doesn’t readily apologize for some wrong you perceive, ask yourself how much is the breadth of affection between the two of you?
If the expanse of your love is real, then somewhere between making up and the ugly moment is a whole bucketful of sorry. It may be silent, but it is genuine and it is there.
Waiting for it to arrive on the carriage of apology is a futile exercise in redundancy.