No More Commercial Appeal

TV doesn’t speak to me anymore. I feel like I’ve entered a world foreign to my person. 

Let me explain. 

Is it necessary to have toilet paper commercials?

I don’t think so. 

Morning news show’s advertising is filled with a plethora of spots that remind me to use said toilet paper, eat my Cheerios and take my vitamins. 

I don’t get it and I don’t understand the need for the encouragement. 

I plan to use the tissue, I plan to have breakfast (and I am not going to eat Cheerios – never liked them) and I am going to take my vitamins (I’m old – I’m afraid of death and I’m going to do anything that makes me feel like I’m keeping the grim reaper away). 

I switch to another TV channel and there they are trying to sell me a blood sugar meter in a color that appeals to my sense of style. Forget my blood sugar levels, if my color is blue I’m a happy camper. Poof! – diabetes be gone, I have a cool meter. 

Next commercial encourages me to feed my kids so they can do better in school. Again, I have to feed them Cheerios. Luckily, I have no kids and if I did, they would be eating Golden Grahams. 

Next, more toilet paper enticement reminding me how soft it is against my face…naturally. 

I switch to the Spanish channel and there is a partially clad, big breasted mother trying to feed me Cheerios yet again. 

In the background there are two bikini wearing models who are there to show skin and sing a jingle about the cereal. ‘Come Cheerios, come Cheerios, es tu mañana….’ While the young ladies do have appeal, I’m not sure it is necessary or appropriate to convince me to eat my grains.  It almost sounds like they are encouraging me to sow my oats. 

It is very odd. 

I don’t think I’m part of the demographic anymore and the language of advertisers’ perhaps needs a translation dictionary for me.

Until then, rest assured I will use toilet paper, I will not eat Cheerios and I will take my vitamins.  And, I will do this without ever watching one commercial. 

God bless the DVR!



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