And It’s Been All Mine

I am the least bitter person you will ever meet

Even though I was one of those kids who had no rights

Nothing was explained to me

I wasn’t coddled – ever

My life was a series of routine events that eventually led me into adulthood

I knew my place and I knew I had a limited voice

I embraced the virtues of respect toward adults and I followed rules

I went to school everyday and nobody checked my homework or helped me with my science projects

I mastered Algebra, Geometry and Trigonometry by sheer will and my love of mathematics – it had nothing to do with what was going on at home

I wasn’t given a choice for dinner and I certainly didn’t leave for school with a balanced breakfast since Cafe con Leche wired me up from all the caffeine and sugar

I didn’t know what a chicken nugget was and pizza was a treat not a staple

I learned two languages fluently, studied two more and can now survive amid the French or in a Latin Mass if need be

I didn’t have goal discussions with my parents and nobody ever tried to understand my feelings

I was social in school but in hindsight I wasn’t social with the right people – I was probably an outcast, a not-fitter-in, a freak, a misfit, an odd duck and a sometimes loner

Eventually I found my posse and sometimes I like to think that they found me

I didn’t have a lot of money growing up and I didn’t dress with the latest fashion, I didn’t embrace the newest trend and I didn’t have the latest gadgets

I was embarrassed as a child to tell people that my father was dead because the explanation was not a conversation that awkward me wanted to have with anyone

I wasn’t coordinated and I lacked peripheral vision – I was never going to be the late, great sports figure 

I survived amongst mental illness, addiction, alcoholism, obesity, neglect, rejection, mockery and many humiliations too ugly to recount

And yet…

I always felt loved

I was mostly grateful

I appreciate family and what it represents

I found my inner humor and made it my trademark, my charm and my brand

I developed my voice and sang my thoughts loud and proud

I survived

Even more, I thrived

I’m here

On the cusp of fifty all I can say is that it has been one helluva ride

And it’s been all mine