She knows my nos.
And there are plenty of them.
When you truly want to know someone, you need to understand those things that contribute to their unhappiness.
For me, my nos are varied and long…
No mayo, no middle seat, no speaking to me after an afternoon nap, no persistent negativity, no deliberate poor grammar, no blue cheese filled olives in my Martini, no excessive Miami speak, no eating from my plate unless I’ve given you permission, no hot spice unless I’ve asked for it, no popping your gum, etc., etc., etc…
My list goes on forever and after almost thirty years, I think she’s mastered my list – as ever increasing as it becomes through my introduction into senior citizenship. Somehow, once you are over fifty, the list of nos grows exponentially.
So many times we focus on trying to make another happy with the things they love, with the things we know promote their joy, when we should be focusing on primarily not introducing the things that give them pause.
Removing the unwanteds from the equation is like flying on a clear day where the clouds don’t promote turbulence. How do you feel when you touch down on the ground after one of those turbulence-free flights?
It is easier to start from a positive place, than to have to make our way back from an unexpected no. As far back as grade school we learned that the numbers below zero were on the left of the number line. Starting from no is on the left side of the number line and that to me appears to be quite a lonely place – it is where the negatives are.
I encourage us all to start noticing the nos, to start recording those little things that make those around us tick in an unwelcome fashion. I encourage us to focus less on the yes and more on the sprinkles of dissatisfaction that come from things as simple as a poorly condimented sandwich (for me, no mayo, no mustard, yes ketchup – but no, if you are not a burger).
We need to recognize our family and friends by their nos and remember to shield them from exposure to these. She is no white onion, he is no holiday cheer, she doesn’t do cantaloupe and he doesn’t like to walk in the rain. It’s simple. We all have a host of nos that adorn our persona and we can let people know what these are.
We can make a difference. We can make it simpler for people to please us.
Putting our nos out there is just as important, if not more, than saying yes.
Say No to No and your world will always come from the happiest of places.