I’m at one of my lunch haunts and I know that lunch with me today is not going to be good.
I’m listening to someone sitting at a neighboring table and she has not let any of the other people in her vicinity get a word in during the conversation.
She has pontificated about her work, her friends, her life and her activities.
She’s so close to me that I can’t drown out the incessant monotone authority of her voice.
In between breaths on her roller coaster of topics, she has complained about her food twice and asked for additional condiments once.
She has taken my lunch break and made it uncomfortable, turning me into a judgy eavesdropper.
The rest of her group have either managed to ignore her or they must really like the fact that ‘I work harder than everyone else in that office…’
I am so surprised she can eat because she is so full of herself that I can’t believe she could swallow another morsel.
Her language is loud, offensive and crass and she just referenced her prior job in New York, but that is certainly no excuse for this behavior at the table.
She’s oblivious to the body language around her. Her crowd has one whose eyes are glazing over, one who is staring so intently at his French fries that he might be a food stylist, and one trying to get a word in amid constant interruptions.
She’s gone silent for a minute and I realize she is drinking from her soda cup, a lovely respite from the annoying timbre of her voice that has inhabited the soundtrack of my lunch.
She’s moved on to another topic and now she’s talking about employee empowerment, proving to me she’s probably the Donald Trump of her workplace. There is no way the people sitting at this table are here voluntarily.
She’s spewing facts and figures and has mentioned three clients by name. I am so glad she doesn’t work with me or at my firm. People like this are insufferable colleagues, even worse managers and are so far removed from their self-awareness that a soul mirror would be rendered useless.
I pray for them to finish eating and leave but they are ordering dessert in between two expletives and a comment about a hospital in £#*%!%! Georgia.
I’m annoyed for a hundred reasons and it mostly has to do with motormouth and the fact that she’s been holding Corporate Mass in my presence.
I’m praying for her as my French Dip sandwich arrives.
I’m praying she exercises better judgement.
I’m praying she gains some self-awareness.
But mostly, I’m praying that she leaves so I can enjoy the silence of her departure and I can exorcise my brain of the useless rhetoric she has added to my thoughts.