The Totality Of A Man

The totality of a man is not defined by the traditional roles he is born to play

There is virtue and satisfaction for those who wait in the wings

Still…

In that space of memory where events remain perched on the shelf of permanence, there you are

In that corner of longing for those that will forever be denied,  there you are

You represent the incomplete bookends that hold together the volumes of pages that document my life

Your absence, having taken more prominence in my life than your presence, defines so much of me

Unused, unspoken, unsaid and whispered enunciations of the word Dad in my native Spanish are housed in the realm of silence

If I think hard enough and truly tap into my pockets of memory and imagination that remain intact, I can hear your voice

In a perfect world,  we would be three generations strong and yet here I am standing by myself looking back and looking forward, both views somewhat empty

It doesn’t sadden me much anymore because reality becomes the norm and the norm becomes one’s destiny

But on days like this Sunday in June where all things Father matter, I feel displaced by circumstance and waiting in the wings doesn’t provide much satisfaction

I miss you both immensely and yet I’m confident that you are together in that place where my longing finds refuge – a parallel universe where the father I knew and the child I will never know, long for me

Today, I will bask in the respect given me by the men of influence who have helped shape my character and I will relish in the affection of those children who see me as a man of influence

Life does provide a balance of sorts and in that balance bestowed by fate, I will claim my Father’s Day

In claiming my Father’s Day, I will move from the wings toward center stage and in the spotlight I will be made whole

The totality of a man is never defined by the traditional roles he is born to play

Happy Father’s Day to all…

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